As soon as I started reading this excerpt from Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein I was having flashbacks to when I was young thinking about the toys I grew up with, the way they were marketed and how it effected my peers. The constant barrage of gender segregated toys had me choosing the barbies and baby dolls yet when I was home I would steal all of my brothers cars and trucks but I felt I wasn't supposed to play with them because "those are for boys" the lines are even more clear today thanks to the toy companies. In this article written by Emanuella Grinberg she talks about a toy store who changed the store completely and got rid of the gender segregated aisles and floors. She states "when stores separate toys into aisles for girls and boys, however, they learn that anyone who deviates from their designated shelves deserves to be ridiculed" this is all too true. Anytime I bring my nephew to the toy store and he grabs for toys that are geared toward girls I feel compelled to tell him thats a girls toy not because I don't want him playing with it but the fear that he will be judged because of it. Now, this may be a step in the right direction and I would love to see all toy stores do this but, it will not, by any means cure this issue. Even if marketing and packaging was changed to be gender neutral we already have these deeply imbedded beliefs that will not go away all that easily.
That's so true! I think it's great that a toy store is doing this (I'd love to see it sometime), but the truth is the stigmas will still be there. I guess one way to approach it with your nephew, is let him choose which toys he wants. If they happen to be pink or girly, let him get them. If anyone ridicules him for it in your presence stick up for him. Stress the fact that he plays with these toys at home, and as he gets older I think you'll just need to have conversations about it. About the fact that it really is okay for him to play with what he wants, but not everyone will see it that way. These things are so tricky. Every now and then I think to myself that maybe it would be a bad idea to raise kids in this world, but then I realize that I think we need more people who can recognize and understand the barriers society places around certain constructs like gender. Anyway, awesome post! :) How old is your nephew?
ReplyDeleteSorry still trying to figure this blog stuff out, I just saw this! But yesterday I brought him (hes 2 now) to target and decided that whatever toy he wanted id get him regardless of whether it was "type casted a "boys" or "girls" toy well he picks out this little doodle thing its gender neutral. Of course we were checking out and they get you buy putting the childrens toys at eye level for them so he goes for this little miniature barbie type thing and if he hadnt already wanted a 30 dollar toy I wouldve gotten that too for him but the guy in back of me in his 30's I assume is staring and has this smirk on his face cause hes holding this bright pink barbie. No matter what I said to him it wouldnt have made much of an impression so I just told my nephew next time I'd get it for him, and I'm gonna make sure to hold myself to it. After these past few classes I really noticed the values we grew up with are skewed. I'm definitely gonna make sure my nephew doesn't grow up with such silly notions. The more people who understand and know how to make those changes and have children who dont have those restrictions the more we can knock down this wall so dont let it dissuade you from raising children!
Deletei never thought of it like that! that all of the boys and girls are/were always sepereated.. just like the picture you put at the top.. girls never really had much of a choice because their area was always segregated.. same with boys.
ReplyDeleteI was like you my mom would buy me these girl toys but that's not what I would play with. I even remember my mom always getting mad that I would play with my brother's or cousins toys.
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